New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

God bless The Onion. Like The Daily Show and Corbert, their satire is more "real" than most of the for profit media.

I think they need to get tissue samples from Snowe and Collins to start with. They seem to be about the only elected officials that place their oars in the water of moderate sanity these days.

This is an interesting problem for the right that wants to deny both genetics which is supported by the theory of evolution (science OMG!!), and the right to life at the same time. This program just might end up in front of the conservative and activist supreme court...!

Unfortunately the last remaining moderate Republicans are far beyond the help of Viagra. . .

They better enlist the help of those who saved the California Condor*.

*Can you picture twenty 'moderate' Republicans locked up in the San Diego Zoo with lockers full of Viagra and Cialis. . . oh, sorry, too much information.

are in dire need of protection, having lost large portions of their natural terrain to the highly territorial Evangelical and Tea Party breeds.

How many times have we seen this destructive consequence of noxious, invasive species in countless ecosystems.

I was thinking they should crossbreed evangelicals with donkeys but my friend who's a geneticist says you'd probably just get blue dogs. In fact, that's probably where blue dogs came from originally.

StevieGee...

Hilarious!

(smacks forehead) NOW I know where blue dogs come from!

E

I fear this is a task just too big and expensive for our nation to take on at this time. Cut, cut, cut, doesn't allow for pilot programs with unproven success. Oh, dear, gotta keep those tax cuts for the rich, sorry moderates, you lose.

Now you've done it! You've gone and posted a satirical Onion article. You know that GOP legislators can't tell the difference between reality and satire... especially the ones from Louisiana.

I can see the headline tomorrow... "Republican legislator discovers plot by Democrats to kidnap moderate Republicans and force them to have unprotected sex".

Navy - you know very well that they got DNA samples to clone from Palin, Santoruim, Trump, Ginrich, Rove and Norquiest.

The species is doomed.

And Robert that was funny.. I just wonder how many times Newt will keep going back for seconds...

I can see the headline tomorrow... "Republican legislator discovers plot by Democrats to kidnap moderate Republicans and force them to have unprotected sex".

"Republican legislator discovers plot by Democrats to kidnap moderate Republicans and force them to have unprotected sex".

Can we get a papal approval on this? Or how would Santorum answer to that? lol

I just wonder how many times Newt will keep going back for seconds...

Newt only has sex if he can have Star and Stripes Forever playing in the background. Remember "I commit adultery in the name of God and Country."

I can see the headline tomorrow... "Republican legislator discovers plot by Democrats to kidnap moderate Republicans and force them to have unprotected sex".

Could happen there have been a few Tea Party politicians that have thought articles from The Onion was real over the past few years.

Rhazes,

I wonder what is in that tea they party with. Sounds more like mushroom tea.

Some commenters always need cheese.

Funny stuff-I'm a moderate myself, the Onion is always fun.

Even funnier watching all the liberal asspatting and high-fiving going on here. Sad that people have such an under-developed sense of humor that they need the Onion to support their platform instead of taking it for the comedy it is.

Spikegary Comedy is comedy. Sad is when either sets of opinions take it serious.

True enough, YDD. BTW, I went in and re-lit the pilot light on AR's Green Stars today.

Everybody needs a green star now and then.☻

The best way to achieve this goal is to support and vote for Romney, there's no denying it. The endangered species must be protected.

Onion articles are not news. Please categorize correctly.

Bull@!$%# Jesse, it says right on the front of the paper 'America's finest news source'.

Although the Onion is satire it not only makes more sense than Fox news, it's more credible.

Here's a piece from last week's Onion: Gingrich privately regretting not doing 'more Jew stuff' On Florida Campaign trail.

You gotta love the Onion.

Panties >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> and... bunched!

It might be easier to deal with an invasive species first -- teabaggers. Let's deal with them first so that the natural population of moderate Republicans can bounce back on its own.

I suggest aerial spraying.

E,(smacks forehead)

Careful Darlin UR, to pritty to bruise :-)

StevieGee, where blue dogs came from originally.

LOL, should have been called Blue Jack ass's, that is what they R

I soooo needed this. GOd Bless the Onion.

And Isupport this as news because political humor throws light (not to mention water) on some pretty egregious goings on in the political scene.

I see right now...I'm gonna laugh all the way to the bottom of this comment thread...];-}

There needs to be an identical program for moderate Democrats, because as long as the "powers that be" of the party think it would be a good idea to reinstate the extremist Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House, I won't even consider voting for a Democrat for my district !!

We just need to get rid of the "Tea Party" They represent the new Christian Taliban, and are determined to de-fund education to make schools private -for profit- religious centers.

Every Red State is cutting funds in Education and making it impossible for teachers to really survive under the pension cuts and benefit cuts. They are doing this in a very meticulous way. Some States already can't afford to have buses picking up the students. They will need to start charging parents, or else the parents will have to drive their children to school.

Never mind the cost of gasoline and the fact that many parents need to drive to work at odd times. This will only make Education even more difficult to attain for many children in poor areas.

We are already # 18 in the world when it comes to Science and Math. However, the Tea Party does not believe in Education and Climate change. To them, we should only believe what the bible says. Look at Santorum. Doesn't he remain people of a Muslim leader? Trying to get women back to the dark ages? If we don't watch it, the Tea Party will have regulations next on women's dressing codes, and Parkas will be in fashion in the good old USA.

And they call President Obama "The Muslim" What a bunch of trash are the Tea Party representatives.

We have never seen a crop of lunatics like the ones running for office this time around. How about Norquist and his pledges? Every day the Constitution means less and less for these people.

It is going to be a long long journey on this road to avoid total extinction of this particular species. I think we very well have seen the last of them.

Well... if extinction is imminent, "captive breeding" seems like a fun way to go out... ;-}

*blushing*

Awe thanks StevG.... :)